I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just google imaged poop.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just want nice things and good sex
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
