So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
