i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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