I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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