his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
