I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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