I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
