i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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