Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
