community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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