Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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