If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
