You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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