youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
