We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
