you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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