Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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