can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
