He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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