I can text with my tongue
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
