Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
