I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
