Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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