Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize