Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
