My first STD was from a foam party
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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