so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
