Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can text with my tongue
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
