life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
