Im at strip club and am horny
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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