My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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