You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize