yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
