Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
