There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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