I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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