whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
