As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
