i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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