no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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