Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
