Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
