well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
