i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
