Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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