His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
