Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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