That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
