I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Ladies don't puke and tell
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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