cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
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