Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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