I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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