Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
