She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
