Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
