I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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