So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize