nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
