they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize